JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
