his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
