Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize