I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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