sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
