I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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