He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I FOUND THE LEGS
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i out mim tonsoeep
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
