youre lurking in front of me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
