there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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