I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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