I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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