My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you traded sex for a burrito?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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