so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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