I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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