why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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