and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
