Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize