Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
