Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
