discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize