her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
