Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
