i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
A bitchslap is in order.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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