Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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