I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
