I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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