Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
