So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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