Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
