I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
