I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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