were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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