he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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