Soap is not a condiment
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
lol hangovers are for mortals.