Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.