shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house