So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok