Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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