Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So here I am, sexting at work.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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