he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
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I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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