my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize