What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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