hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
