dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I need a burrito and a hug.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
