i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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