her vagine was all disorganized.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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