I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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