Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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