I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
