I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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