I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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