lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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