I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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