dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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