JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
