I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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