You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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