watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
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