Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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