Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
