So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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